The Tales of John Wuggle and Bob Reason
by TheCrazyPerson44
Summary: John Buzzle starts out an ordinary sales assistant at a small Radio Shack in KC, MO. He is sent a package that contains a superconductor unit that might save the future and everything changes from there, including his name. Bob Reason discovers a cave while attempting to find a lady who went missing there, and he gets more than he bargained for when he learns her true identity.


Ghost of Rod Serling:

Enter the voice of reason and explore two stories. One about a man named Bob and the other about a man named John Wuggle.

Bob was an ordinary man who ended up working for extraordinary entities. John was a time traveler born in 1812 who got hold of a superconductor that might save our planet Earth.

Let's begin!

A Cave Within Reason

Starring Bob Reason, a bald middle aged guy with a few gray hairs

A short story

"There was a case of a woman who went missing on an expedition. The city council held a meeting on what to do about it. They could never find her but they found some strange clay like material that was not from this earth in the area where she went missing. She was a history student, exceptionally bright but not very well understood" said Edmund, talking to his grandchildren.  
"What happened to her?" asked one of the kids.  
"Well, it's actually a long story but I'll make it short" replied Edmund, smoking from a pipe.

The Story Begins:

"Well, that was certainly a fine expedition," said Edmund Olison, an English seventy year old gentleman, adjusting his monicle. He was a rather elderly exchange student. "Yes it certainly was. Except I think you people are one explorer short" said Bob Reason, a middle aged man who worked for a printing press, among other freelance jobs.  
"Bah, impossible!" said Professor Wilson. "I counted five times, we've lost no one"  
"Sybil? You forgot Sybil Dominique" shouted Bob.  
"She split off when we reached the river, remember? Said she wanted to go feed the ducks" said Professor Wilson "She came back though. Your memory is not very good is it?" said Bob, eyeing Dennis suspiciously.  
"If people aren't asking me questions I tend to lose sight of em I guess" said Professor Wilson "If I may I'd like to enter the cave!" said Bob.  
"Be my guest, Bob. Go in there. You'll never find Sybil" said Professor Wilson.  
"I swear that man is beyond all reason" suggested Edmund.  
"Puns, eh? You really think you're funny do you?" asked Dennis.  
"What? Oh, oh, I wasn't making a pun. I was just stating a fact" said Edmund.  
"Well, I think you were trying to make a pun. Anyway, my bet is he doesn't come back" said Professor Wilson.  
"You're just saying that cuz you don't like him" suggested Amy.  
"Could be," said Wilson, chuckling to himself while taking an unusually casual sip of coffee.

Bob entered the dark Missouri cave. Sure enough, using his lantern he could just barely make out a female figure darting through the caves at seemingly impossible speeds. She was much more agile than he remembered. He finally caught up to her and began shouting:  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? What in God's name are you doing?" asked Bob.  
"This is my home!" shouted Sybil. He finally caught up to her but not before she leapt over a large gap between two huge rock structures. As they continued to split apart due to natural process, Bob hesitantly established a base camp at the edge of the cliff and used his grappling hook to extend a path on which he tight-roped across. When he reached Sybil, the beautiful red headed woman, he saw that she winked at him. He saw that she had carved out an entrance further into the cave. She signaled for Bob to follow her. Bob now felt that he was witnessing the surreal but he ventured forward nevertheless.

What he saw astonished him. A beautiful array of opaque shining crystals and gems and shimmering limestone. He also saw what looked like a secretary's office complete with chairs and a computer. A fridge and all kinds of luxuries including sofas, a TV, and a coffee machine.  
"I'm speechless," said Bob. "How did a young woman like you come to aquire all this for yourself?"  
"Yes, well, you're speechless within reason. This is only a sample of what I have" said Sybil. "Based on everything I'm seeing I'd say you have quite a lot" said Bob.  
"Thank you. I'd say you do as well" replied Sybil. Bob suddenly noticed her eye pupils change to slits.  
"Well I..I was referring to your cave" said Bob.  
"Aha-hah. I do have a good cave, if you follow. Well, that isn't all" said Sybil. She pulled open a revolving bookshelf that was actually a secret passage. It maneuvered her into the other room. Bob followed in pursuit and saw Sybil place her hand against some sort of strange clay. She then pushed the clay onto the wall which made its solidity vanish and Sybil walked through the wall into some unknown territory. He almost saw a tail sprouting out from behind her but shrugged it away as nonsense.  
With hesitancy but intense and beaming curiosity, Bob followed Sybil into another dimension.

Later:

"I was there! With the crew! I followed her and ended up here in the year 68XXZ" shouted Bob at the city council board of which he was now somehow a member.  
"No. You weren't. You've been with us in New Dawn City for as long as ever. You need some help, Bob, you're beyond reason!" said the leader of the city council, Rohn.  
"That cave was in the shape of something...what was it...a lizard?" asked Renalds.  
"I believe him!" said Amy.

The Tale of John Wuggle

A Short Story

"Kodack cameras, now we have the best of these anywhere" said John, showing one to a customer. John Buzzle was a sales representative for a small Radio Shack type place in Kansas City Missouri. "Ah, I see" said the customer.  
"Glad to be of help," said John. John began tapping on the reception desk with his fingernails and whistling a tune.  
A very old mustachioed man who ran the store approached him. John, you see, was his sales representative.  
"Something arrived in the mail yesterday. It is unlike anything I've ever seen, we could sell it for millions!" said the old man in a dead serious tone. His name was Bram Bonifacious, he was known to make outrageous claims such as that he was actually five hundred years old. No one believed him, except one customer who routinely had chats with him. John however considered the possibility he was telling the truth.

"Okay. In five minutes we close, so I suppose now is as good a time as any, doesn't look like anyone else is coming"  
said John. John followed Bram to the storage room where he pulled out a large luminescant box that was shining brilliantly.

"Are you familiar with the research of well revered Dutch physicist Heike Kamerlingh Onnes?" asked Bram.

"Somewhat," replied John munching on a health bar.

"Heike discovered superconductivity. There's a crater on the moon named after him as well.  
I am told that what I have in my posession is the only golden superconductor currently in existence, and that what I have in my possession is a rarity indeed" said Bram.  
"Gold is not superconductive. Are you sure it's really gold?" asked John, who was grinning ear to ear.  
"Oh yes, yes, positive. Talented metalurgist, knows all about alloys. The person who sent it to me had it tested, although its properties are very similar to iridium and several other metals. Impervious to corrosion, acid, anything. Although some salts are known to break it down into an edible chewy substance that tastes rather like a licorice gumball, if I'm not mistaken. Leaves a dark insolubale residue as well!" said Bram.  
"Sounds to me like what you have here is not gold of any sort" suggested John.  
"Oh. Oh. You mean you think this is the work of a charlatan?" asked Bram.  
"Not necessarily. I think we should take it to a laboratory and test it ourselves" replied John.  
"Good idea. However I want to have some delicious cheddar cheese before we leave. As the great Oscar Wylde so delicately put it life is better with cheddar" said Bram.  
"I'm not sure if that's a direct quote" replied John.  
"My lord, John read the date on this box!" thundered Bram.  
"It's 1812. Frank Wuggle? Who's that?" said John.  
"Heavens if I know. But John? Cheer up a bit. When you laugh at something funny your smile is wider than that of anyone I've ever known. Would be nice if you could keep it" said Bram.  
"It's time. I just have issues with time" said John.

Later, in Bram's car:y

"The box is moving" said John.  
"Is there a cat in there?" asked Bram.  
"I don't think so," replied John. "Are we on twenty second street? I can't read the sign on that cloud" said Bram. The entire car was being lifted into the air. Suddenly, after a flash of brilliant platinum light and swirling colors and shapes Bram and John found themselves at the mercy of the insides of a UFO. They took a long look around them and saw many shapes and columns everywhere. "John, are you seeing the things I'm seeing?" asked Bram.  
"Triangles, circles, golden light?" asked John.  
"No," replied Bram. "What have they done to Denny's?" he thundered. Suddenly a middle aged gray haired man in a military uniform entered the room. He was younger than Bram by a longshot and no older than 40 or so. His name was Bob Reason and he was a computer expert who liked to eat bacon and eggs and sing various national anthems for no apparent reason.  
"Hello. Welcome to the WuggleWump Mothership. My name is Reason. Robert Reason. How are you two?" asked Bob.  
"Never better," replied John.  
"Is that so? I was told to pick you two up. That gold box just might be what's needed to save the future" said Bob.  
"The future? Where is it?" asked Bram looking around concerned.  
"Relax," said John, putting his arm around Bram.  
"Oh, I'll certainly try to" replied Bram. Bob laughed. "You're John Buzzle I take it?" asked Bob, shaking hands with John.  
"Yes. How did you know?" asked John.  
"Saw footage of your childhood in 1812. Your mother wore the prettiest Victorian dresses you know. She ran a bread shop, your father was a metallurgist. Shame she and your father were abducted" said Bob, sipping from a glass.  
"Hold on...John was born in 1812?" asked Bram.  
"I must admit a lot of my past I don't remember" confessed John.  
"Oh, I say. By Jove, I was born in 1542. Saw a great many tidal waves on the ocean I did" said Bram. "You two are time travelers. I was sent to collect you and take you to the future" said Bob.  
"We know we're time travelers" said John and Bram unanimously.  
"Good, good. Then you should listen to the voice of reason. That's me, Bob Reason" said Bob.  
"Good lord, I see no reason not to" said Bram.  
"Well then there's pastries and fine breads from all different periods of time. Also every form of hamburger and frankfurter ever produced in the continental United States throughout history" said Bob.  
"Sounds good" said John.

John, Bram, and Bob sat down to eat.  
"Tell me..why do you need the box?" asked Bram.  
"I'm sworn to secrecy," said Bob, seperating his steak with a knife and fork and spraying salt atop it.  
"An oath of secrecy to whom?" asked John.  
"Orders from above. Crystal Tribunal" replied Bob, taking a hearty bite of salty steak.  
"I see. I know them. They show up at the right moments throughout history conveniently" said John.  
"Exactly. So I'll see you to your rooms and bid you farewell. I have to report back to my superiors" said Bob.  
Bob showed John to his room, and Bram as well, respectively. Then he went inside a tube-like shuttle and sent himself up into the upper levels of the ship.

As John fell to sleep in his room he wondered why so much of his life he didn't remember. He had dealt with the Crystal Tribunal several times but everything up until those points were blurry. He had done several odd jobs and that was it. Who knows who he really was. Then he heard a voice:

No need to be depressed ever again. All of time is happening at once. Everything that ever could happen has already happened. You just have to tap into what you want and you'll have it. There is nothing scary about time travel.  
Any edits to any timeline can be corrected by simply snapping your fingers and tapping into what you desire. You were denied your heritage. Your real name...is JOHN WUGGLE. A name-tag then fell into John's hands. John could not stop smiling after hearing this revelation in his head.

The following morning Bob knocked on John's door.  
"Time to get up" said Bob. John yawned.  
"Sorry I overslept" said John. "Not a problem. Happens to me all the time. Crystal Tribunal's holding a meeting on the upper level, they finally finished the portal with the box your father created" said Bob.  
"My father?" asked John.  
"Yeah. Oh, and John? Wear your name tag, and bring a smile. It's important" said Bob, giving John a thumbs up.

At the meeting:

The head of the Crystal Tribunal was a giant green bird with huge wings. He wore dark sunshades and a trenchcoat.  
"I hereby call this meeting of the Crystal Tribunal to order" said the bird as he brought down a hammer.  
"Yes sir" replied all the members in unison.  
"The gold box has proven useful. We have opened a portal to the future, and now we are going to send in the chosen ones" said the bird.  
"John and Bram, correct?" asked Bob.  
"No, you and John!" said the bird. The bird then picked up John Wuggle and Bob Reason and tossed them into the portal.

Part 2:

John and Bob found themselves in an underground cave hollowed out in limestone.

"It stands within reason that Bob would be here. But you...who are you?" asked a voice.  
"The name's Wuggle. John Wuggle" replied John.  
"A better question is who the hell are you? You look like someone who's never seen the light of day" said Bob.  
"I haven't," replied the voice, which belonged to a tall bald man in a business suit. "And I like it that way" he added.  
"How is that possible?" asked Bob.  
"Oh, you get used to it. My name is Rohn Buzzle" said Rohn, played by Christoph Waltz. No we're joking. Suddenly John could remember him faintly.  
"Rohn Buzzle? That's odd" said Bob.  
"Yes, yes. I am. I'm John's stepfather. Brought him up after his real parents were abducted by angry aliens known as Zugglewumps. They can't stand happy faces. You know, they have the uncanny ability to steal memories and..and potential. I just wanted to make sure everything turned out okay when you two were so violently shoved into that portal thing" said Rohn.  
"We've grown accustomed to being shoved through portals. But not before bacon and eggs. God I love bacon and eggs"  
said Bob. Rohn looked confused.  
"I see. Well we'd better get going. I'm gonna take one quick crystalline shower" said Rohn. Rohn sat under a beam of light within a tube and then came out looking refreshed. He grinned ear to ear just like John would.  
"Crystalline showers are refreshing. Perhaps that's how I've survived in this dark spaceship for so long. Anyway John,  
the future is fantastic. You'll probably like it here. God knows I don't" said Rohn, who seemed insincere about his dislike of the time period.  
"Oh?" asked John.  
"Yeah, it's not all it's cracked up to be, there's problems. I uhh-well-uhh-I tried to solve said problems in various ways. I was a renegade of sorts. I was the guy that launched a revolution...of thought mind you nothing more. A thought revolution" said Rohn.  
"Something tells me it was more than that" said Bob.  
"Let me explain something to my son" said Rohn, moving his head close to John.  
"Yes? What is it?" asked John.  
"John, if I knew the kind of future you would end up growing up in? I would have smashed your head into concrete long ago" explained Rohn.  
"You're a very merciful stepfather," said John with a sheepish grin.  
"Right, well, let's go see the future shall we? I'll be down here, if you boys need anything, do please hollar for me.  
I care so much" said Rohn. A small tabby cat approached Rohn and meowed. He fed it, then took it up into his lap and stroked it while sitting on a shiny platinum chair. "The only thing I'd ever hollar for? Bacon and eggs. You know me" said Bob.  
"I certainly do. You're the voice of reason!" said Rohn, pointing at Bob and winking.  
"Goodbye Rohn. Have fun in here...if that's possible" said John, laughing.

As John and Bob left the ship, Rohn could be seen making a phone call.  
"Yes, this is Rohn Zuggle. No, no, my name isn't Buzzle, that's a ruse. Yes? Get me the ZuggleWump Mothership. We have two potential trouble makers on the loose. Wouldn't want them to launch a revolution or anything" said Rohn. He then hung up.

Bob and John arrived in a very large rocky area. The surface of this world was nothing but rocks. They got there by jumping into a steam bubble that was hovering above a misty bog. The sky was beautiful, you could see all kinds of swirling stars and colors invading the mostly pitch black coffee-like sky.

To be continued...


End file.
